Hayden Goobie, Age 8, Explains Captain Marvel

Meet Hayden Goobie

“Hey, Heyden. Do you like girl heroes?”

Depends.

“Depends on what?”

I mean, do you mean if I just like them or if I LIKE-like them?

“Well, just tell me what you think about Captain Marvel.”

Which one? The girl one? Because there are like three different girl ones maybe, at different times though. And there were I think like four or five boys who were the boy ones at different times.

“The Captain Marvel right now. Carol is her name.”

Captain Marvel #1 (2014)

Oh. Ok. Well, she’s basically an Avenger… in space. I mean, she’s a hero and she does hero stuff in outer space. She can fly and can blast like energy or something from her hands. She can even make her costume appear just like that … but I can’t snap my fingers real good … so I guess she has superpowers of dressing up. And she’s super strong I THINK, and super tough like bulletproof or punchproof or whatever. And she has a cat. Not like a superpowered kind of cat, just a normal cat. I mean, it’s like kind of mean or has some attitude problems kind of thing. So yeah, just a normal cat. Oh, and her spaceship is smart and can talk and sound like a person but it’s just a spaceship.

“Sounds pretty simple, then.”

But really she wasn’t always in space. She used to be in New York and even lived in New York, lived in the Statue of Liberty. I mean the Statue of Liberty was like her apartment. And she had a bunch of friends like Spider-Woman who is a superhero but also a lot of people who aren’t. She, Captain Marvel I mean, tried to be a hero but she was sent to the past for some reason and later had to fight a bunch of her old villains because they were all sent by her biggest Bad Guy enemy so that he could steal her powers and her memory but she got better.

“I think that happens to her a lot.”

I know, right? But anyways all of that was when she was Captain Marvel, and BEFORE all of that she was just Ms. Marvel. She still was a hero in New York and she tried real hard to be a hero and everything with like sidekicks and hero friends and things but she got kind of mixed up with all the stuffs that was going on like Civil War and hero versus hero stuffs until Norman Osborn tried to take over everything and the heroes realized what they were doing was kind of stupid and everybody just went back to being normal.

“The way I see it, at the start of it all, Carol was affected by seeing an alternate universe where she was one of the world’s top heroes. So that’s why she doubled her efforts to be a hero, even to the point of siding with Tony Stark during the Civil War, a guy who genuinely wanted to legitimize heroes but ultimately ended up going too far and taking heroes’ reputations, like Carol’s, down with him.

Uhm, OK I guess. But before that did you know Ms. Marvel was called Warbird? But not because she was a giant bird or anything. That’s what they call airplanes in World War Two. Duh! Anywayzz, that’s when she re-joined the Avengers team after being in space for a long time, but she drank too much alcohol and lied to people about her powers because they were like burned out or nearly gone so she got in trouble. Then she got better and had to do the right thing so she became Ms. Marvel again.

“Ms. Marvel is a more marketable name, after all.”

Well I don’t know about that but I do know that before even THAT she wasn’t even Warbird and she had an even more different codename which was Binary. She hung out with the Starjammers which are a kind of like space pirates and are friends with the X-Men. It’s because she was hanging out with the X-Men in the first place but then some aliens kidnapped her and did experiments on her and gave her powers of stars that are also called binary so she called herself Binary. I think she was pretty powerful and that’s why she couldn’t go back to Earth or maybe she was just angry and didn’t want to go back home.

“So she wasn’t always an Avenger but she was an X-Men?”

Uhm, not really. She was just hanging around. She was friends with Wolverine, because every one kind of knows Wolverine really, and she needed X-Men’s help because she lost her Ms. Marvel powers when she fought Rogue. Not Rogue from the X-Men because this was before Rogue joined the X-Men and was still a villain. She didn’t like the Avengers at that time because the Avengers didn’t treat her good and let her get in trouble with the Bad Guy whose name is Immortus or Marcus or something.

But before all of that she was just regular Ms. Marvel, and she fought aliens and bad guys in New York while also trying to have a secret identity as the writer for a magazine called Woman Magazine. Actually it was more complicated than that because Ms. Marvel had powers like danger sense powers and she would transform into Ms. Marvel automatically, but the different types of identity didn’t know each other which was kind of weird so they stopped doing that pretty quickly and just let Carol and Ms. Marvel be secret identities of each other.

“Wait. How did she get her powers anyway?”

Well, at the very beginning Carol was an Air Force person and a pilot and also a secret agent for the CIA and also a security person for NASA. I think that’s all. Yeah. Because of all those things she was working at NASA when the boy Captain Marvel– the very first one. well, I mean the alien one at Marvel Comics– was trying to hide on Earth as a Earth human. The boy Captain was also trying to save Earth from the aliens (who are called Kree by the way) and he took the secret identity of a NASA worker. But Carol was trying to track down the boy Captain Marvel and they soon met and teamed up a lot and fell in love and all that stuff. Well, anyway, of course the big Bad Guy alien kidnapped Carol as part of his villain plans and he also tried to set off this big alien bomb kind of weapon but the boy Captain Marvel and Carol stopped him but when the weapon exploded it changed Carol into giving her Ms. Marvel powers because her body changed into half-human-half-Kree.

“Wow. This does not sound simple at all, actually.”

Oh, it’s alright. She’s pretty much a basic superhero, basically. She has a flashy costume now that looks like space armor and that’s kind of cool, but really she should have a cape or something too if she’s such a basic superhero. Oh, and she should probably have these star shapes all around when she uses her energy powers and stuff and use like star-shaped shields and things. She should have a special jet that she uses to fly all around the world and into outer space, and she can keep fighting the bad Kree and other bad aliens wherever they are. And her sidekicks could be the Marvel Girls named Warbird, and Binary who are twins, and Ms. M who all have different special jets too and they can can fly around with different colored star powers then combine into a giant robot or something.

And that’s all I have to say about Captain Marvel.

 

 

 

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