All-New All-Different Avengers #1 (2015): Comic Review

Some assembly still required

 

Wait, there *wasn’t* an Avengers team for a while? That’s… hard to believe, especially with the Avengers property remaining the cornerstone of Marvel Comics publishing, but that’s the status quo our story seems to be starting with, so let’s see where it goes.

Or, actually, the real start was one of their heroes shouting “You’re a JERK!” at another one. Wow. Such an auspicious beginning. But that was just the teaser, as it were. The remainder of the main is about how the team will be forming from “nothing.” Not even an Avengers Tower, which is being dismantled after some supposed money problems from don’t-worry-he’s-still-rich Tony Stark. He’s just not RICH-rich, you see. Nevertheless, it’s the scene of a casual encounter between him, Captain America, and Spider-Man Jr. versus the giant alien Warbringer.

Before that can be resolved, the issue is broken into a second half that features a completely separate casual encoutner between Ms. Marvel and Nova. The resultant shift between the two parts is a bit disappointing, with two different reading experiences instead of one. I can understand an artist shift may necessitate a distinct split betweent the A story and the B story; maybe it was impossible to allow one part to be a subplot for a main story that spreads across all 21 pages. But when it’s an already-fragmented narrative that features characters who are not even on a team at this point, it’s hard to read this as an “Avengers” story, let alone one that’s meant to be a replacement for the Avengers to the lay Marvel universe citizen. Instead, it’s got the feel of an anthology. A done-in-one set-up, or even something a bit more en media res than a single page of name-calling, may have felt more substantial.   

Still, a key selling point is the scripting and the clear voices for each character. The world-weariness of Captain America, the awkwardness of Teen Spidey and the stumbling Nova are all quite distinct, and in the latter cases even endearing and charming. The sequential panelling is well-paced, too, creating a nice timing between elements of dialouge and thought-bubbles (remember those!?) or other interchange of dialogue. The appearance of Warbringer is similarly neatly timed, in an example of a step-by-step sequence works nicely. (In others’ hands it might end up looking more like cinematic storyboarding and not comicbookery. And yes, I do believe those should be distinct artforms.)

Of course, Waid and Kubert are master storytellers, although there are a couple of things that are of mixed success. Some are minor, like the dialogue of a crowd messing with the flow when reading the main characters’ interactions. Others are a bit more serious, like not understanding the full import of the man who apparently owns the former Avengers Tower now. There’s some strange display of power and some shifting camera angles that leave a lot to interpretation rather than being clear. It’s one thing to be mysterious and another to be too obtuse to realize you’re trying to be mysterious.

The art of Mahmud Asrar in the second half has some staging problems as well, but this time due to the size-changing nature of Ms. Marvel’s powers. It creates some awkward sequences where Ms. Marvel is the focal point, making everyone else appear like they’ve shrunk, and the lack of backgrounds remove all context, leaving the reader nothing to reference. The strength, though, is certainly in the expressive emoting from our characters, a clear weakness in Kubert’s offering in the first half.

What’s interesting is how branding really does affect the the impression of the contents. Calling it All-New All-Different Avengers means you are entering the comic with a set of expectations, an anticipation of a certain kind of flavour. Imagine, for example, if this comicbook was titled Young Avengers instead. Wouldn’t the expectation change, and actually enhance the reading? What we got now makes me wonder why Spider-Man Jr., Ms. Marvel and Nova are getting in the way of reading about Captain America and Iron Man. I have no problems with Cap and I-Man getting in the way of reading about the three youth, but that’s just me. I’m sure Waid is aware of this, but we’re talking about significant age gaps that will necessitate a particular kind of interaction. There’s a reason why people tend to read teams of all teens OR of all grown-ups. Perhaps having a blend of the two is the real All-Different experiment that’s going to play out here.      

It’s a very serviceable story, but it’s shooting itself in the foot with certain choices, most notable of which is to divide the book in half as if it’s an anthology of stories before the team is even fully formed. The art has some hits or misses, and the main villain Warbringer is less significant than a mystery man, but there’s not enough time to develop either beyond vagueness and/or cliché. We have yet to see the team truly interact beyond just Captain America and Iron Man, so it’s difficult to see who the breakout star or the point-of-view character is meant to be. Because the voices are so strong and the interactions are poised to be intriguing, I’ll continue to give it a shot, but things will have to feel more cohesive and more meaningful to be worthy of the “Avengers” title.

All-New All-Different Avengers #1: 
Part 1: Writer: Mark Waid; Artist: Adam Kubert; Color Artist: Sonia Oback; Letterer: VC’s Cory Petit
Part 2: Writer: Mark Waid; Artist: Mahmud Asrar; Color Artist: Dave McCaig; Letterer: VC’s Cory Petit 

This review was originally published for weeklycomicbookreview.com. Be sure to check in there for the world’s best comic book reviews!
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The Vision #1 (2015): Comics Review

Up Next, Desperate Androids

I made an impulsive decision. Such actions are a product of the mercurial brain processing inherent to   my human nature. It led me to purchase The Vision #1, and the comicbook highly appealed to my aesthetic as well as philosophical sensibilities, thereby creating one of the most highly pleasurable reading experiences of Marvel’s recently relaunched series and subsequently engendering my social nature to desire others to replicate that experience.

In other words, I really liked this comic and highly recommend it.

Even as I browsed Comixology, I wondered if it would be a tough sell. The Vision seemed a character better fitted for the Avengers of the 70s and 80s. He formed a core part of that team precisely because of his ties to the Avengers’ history and collection of characters, but he never fit in any other context whenever someone tried to do something with him in the 90s or 00s. Not only that, but there only seemed so much that could be done with “robot stories.” We get it. We try to understand humans deal with life by seeing how a non-human character lives. It’s like a metaphor or some junk.

To use my own metaphor, these typical robot-as-humanity stories are like any standard steak dinner. But there’s a difference between a standard steak dinner, and a expertly prepared and presented gourmet dining experience, and The Vision #1 is one of the best steak dinners I’ve ever had in a long time.

I had to abandon my fanboy nature to scoff at what I saw as a ham-fisted attempt to force Vision into this new status quo— the character professed to delete his emotions but also created his own sythezoid family, placing them all into suburbia. And yes, there are no big action set pieces here (well, except for that small but dramatic one) as the focus here is on how the robots/synthezoids attempt to not only make a life for themselves but also to understand what life really means.

There are so many great little touches here. The wife, Virginia, coming to terms with nuance of language when meeting neighbors, the interaction between the twins, the way the Visions have to throw out their housewarming cookies. What seemed to be a throwaway element of scene-setting, the water vase of Zenn-La, becomes a recurring motif and an important metaphor in its own right, earning the ominous final panel’s narration.

The writing is strong, with intriguing ways that foreshadowing is weaved into the narrative and the way characters are allowed to emote through their acting. The narrator seems a character in its own right, too, being casual in tone but hinting at deeper things, surely appropriate to the theme of the book.

I’ve never been so weirded out by the Vision as I’ve had in this comic. Mostly, I would have to take the other characters’ reactions in the comic for granted. I mean, I guess the Vision was supposed to be creepy because the Wasp commented on how creepy his voice sounded. When the Vision was already drawn in the same heroic manner as the other crazy four-color people around him, it didn’t seem so out of place. Here, though, the Vision and his family are quite creepy indeed. They certainly sound cold and hollow, and not just from differently-colored dialogue balloons. Their designs and layout also help reinforce their weirdness.

The Visions are first seen behind the front door, starkly incongruous in their suburban clothing and black background. The twins go to their first day of school while flying high above the scene. Their lack of pupils and facial expression is key. The juxtaposition is a bit lost as the art style gives many other characters a thick line and a stiffness that is also enjoyed by the robots, but perhaps that’s intentional. The linework overall is certainly organic more freehand; I doubt any straightedges were used. The colors, too, are soft and muted, with the washes not fully blended at times, so the colors are bold and there’s a rawness and reality to the texture. There are even subtle ways the colors/inks appear to bleed off the panels, like they’ve been hand-painted.   

Mostly, the panels and layouts are well chosen, although the perspective/placing feels too flat at times. For example, the cover would make more sense if the Visions are making portions of their bodies invisible. But they are probably meant to be phasing through the wall, meaning that they would have to be leaning forward on top of one another. The sense of three-dimensionality is all off. Similarly with the big surprise at the end of the issue, when the villain attacks. There’s a scythe coming through the wall to strike a character that doesn’t make three-dimensional sense.        

I’m very excited about this series. The foreshadowing and cliffhanger both leave me in anticipation, but I’m also hoping that much of the Vision’s history isn’t forgotten. Perhaps not, as we see the Grim Reaper isn’t ignored, and Virginia Vision is appropriately reactive that her husband is keeping a gift from his ex-wife in the living room. I also had to laugh that the Vision is upset he’s not given a staff position in the White House, since he’s still the guy who nearly took over the world at one point. Did he happen to leave that off his résumé?

It may not be attempt to reinvent the sci-fi tropes that explore humanity by telling stories of robots, but rather it’s one of the best examples of such a story type. This new setting and the new characters around him were necessary to bring the character of the Vision into the kind of story that just perfect for him. The art as well as the narrative touches work together to create a creepy kind of Vision, and one that promises some intriguing philosophical touches and pointed emotions. Very rich story potential here, in an unexpected way that yet makes perfect sense.   

The Vision #1: 
Writer: Tom King; Artist: Gabriel Hernandez Walta; Color Artist: Jordie Bellaire; Letterer: VC’s Clayton Cowles  

This review was originally published for weeklycomicbookreview.com. Be sure to check in there for the world’s best comic book reviews!  

Buy your comics at Comixology.com or use Comicshoplocator.com to find a local shop near you!

New Avengers #1 (2015): Comics Review

You would think Parisian crystal would be more coveted…

Apparently, “more” is more for this issue. We have a new status quo, a new base of operations, two mysterious villains, an away team plus a home team plus a S.H.I.E.L.D. inspection team. Not to mention that the team in the field has a special jet, an array of powers among them, and several gadgets for even *more* powers for each. They face a threat that takes over 90% of the population of France and is both scientific and spiritual in nature, and one of their foes on the last page cliffhanger is made up of a crystal, a gorilla, a giant spider and a scorpion.

You could dial this thing down several notches and still be overwhelmed. It’s so In-Your-Face that your eyeballs and mouth will blow back with the force of wind tunnel. But do I say that as a bad thing or a good thing?

The energy to the book also comes from the expressive art from Gerardo Sandoval, which could definitely be described as capital-b Bold. The design has a block, wedgey aesthetic that relies on solid masses of shape rendered by heavy black areas, so characters appear bulky but lithe. The colorist picks up on this, shading characters and scenes with similarly blocky areas of solid colors. Often, this reduces a character’s expression, unless it’s Squirrel Girl, who appears as big-eyed as any cliché anime girl. Also, the art really over-emphasizes hands, making them exaggerated and out of proportion.      Such complexity and energy makes some panels hard to register at a glance, but nevertheless the flow is clear overall and there’s no problem with continuity of storytelling.

Instead, it’s the sheer amount of set-up that’s overwhelming. That gives a nice energy, and certainly amps up the high “weirdness factor.” It’s at the sacrifice of some smaller moments and there’s no chance to catch a breath— all flow and no ebb. I’m not sure I can criticize that too much as it’s clearly full of necessary exposition and all used to set up our tone/flavor to the series. In the past, I have criticized Ewing’s Mighty Avengers title for having a huge cast and yet only giving a few players any focus. Here we have the opposite, for sure. I’m hoping for a balance between such extremes as the series continues.

I’m intrigued by allowing characters like Songbird coming into focus. I’ve always enjoyed the new Power Man and White Tiger. I want to see the new A.I.M. status quo and how a cocky Sunspot can manage things that frankly should be over his head. I’m concerned that Squirrel Girl will be nothing more than device for some kind of humor, and that Hawkeye won’t return to the competent but flawed hero he was as leader of the West Coast Avengers or Thunderbolts.

I’m also wondering if things aren’t been pushed into “strangeness” a little bit too quickly. So far I’m associating Al Ewing, and even these choice of characters (with the exception of Squirrel Girl), as pretty serious, maybe even “street-level,” types of stories that, at best, have dealt with a pretty typical superheroic milieu. Here, I’m picking up associations of Keith Giffen’s run on Doom Patrol, whose base was Oolong Island, a haven of former mad scientists. For such a quirky team, that seemed to work more naturally. Time will tell if such an extreme will work for New Avengers, or if it will get stuck in between classic tropes and quirky ones and fall flat somewhere in between.   

Kind of makes you appreciate the new Captain America series where the central framing device is simply surviving a flight in coach.       

So it’s a comic that wants to come out of the gate running, and it does so… at 100 miles per hour. There’s no denying the energy and momentum of the storytelling, made more dynamic by bold artwork and crowded panels. To make it happen, the comic relies more on the set-up with few opportunities for reflective moments or deep characterization, but even at least with the surface-level stuff, the comic gives a bit of time for everyone, even the supporting characters. And, hey, if you can’t take a bold approach when taking a team into a bold new direction, then you would have missed the opportunity. I’m certainly on board to see how this goes.

New Avengers #1: 
Writer: Al Ewing; Artist: Gerardo Sandoval; Color Artist: Dono Sanchez Almara; Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna 

This review was originally published for weeklycomicbookreview.com 

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Uncanny Avengers #1 (2015): Comics Reivew

Putting the “WHY?!” back in “Unity”

Have you ever made a homebrew line-up of a superhero team? Everybody does. My personal history of fandom includes everything from scrawling various team-ups in my school notebook to playground debates, fan websites and fan art, role-playing game sessions, message boards posts, and, well, countless others ways. It’s a hallmark of being a fan. So something like Uncanny Avengers is both so obvious and so ingenious. Take a little bit from the Avengers and a little bit from the X-Men and mash ‘em up to see what happens? Brilliant! Fun!

So why isn’t this comicbook either of those things?

Remender’s run on this title’s first volume took advantage of the set up for some intriguing premises and interactions, not to mention great choices for villains. It even all led up to a company crossover event, AXIS. I have to admit, though, that there was still a big disconnect between the *theory* of the title and the actual practice. Now Gerry Duggan has a chance, together with Ryan Stegman. And it still can’t quite seem to get off the ground.

This issue serves well as an introductory story. The team has a minor fight for a kind of “cold open” then splits up and has some exposition with each other to help round out our status quo, until a new villain appears and the team assembles so the villain can pose dramatically on the last page.        

All of that is well and good, except there’s a new complication to the whole set-up of the Uncanny Avengers. It now has to deal with a third factor of the Marvel universe reality— the way the Inhumans are rising into prominence (and that’s both on a narrative level and as a publishing strategy.) On one hand, there’s my personal reaction to this, so for purposes of full disclosure I have to say that I never have nor do I foresee a time when I will enjoy Inhuman stories. Ever since reading in the late 80s, no Inhuman has ever made it into any of my homebrew fan-made line-ups.

But personal reaction aside, it’s an element of confict seems to be forcing its way into something that already had inherent conflict. Instead of Avengers Vs. X-Men as the struggle implicitly behind the stories, character choices, and villains of Uncanny Avengers, now there’s … what? A complete left turn into a different territory. The previous tension is jettisoned, left unresolved. Not to mention the fact that it fractures the focus of the simple premise in the first place. None of the Avengers nor X-Men have any longstanding conflict with Inhumans, so there’s something artificial and tacked-on about the conflict that’s being presented here.

The team should be Avengers and X-Men, but Rogue seems to be the only represtentative of the latter. No, I’m not counting Deadpool as an X-Men; he’s not even a mutant. Steve Rogers (does he have a codename anymore?) is the only kind-of Avenger. I’m not sure Spider-Man or Doctor Voodoo have really been entrenched enough to be considered in that league. Which leaves Psynapse— the Inhuman that now has to shoulder all of the narrative tension that’s been forced on the book. Both the character and the aformentioned tension are simply presented as givens. There’s no real introduction to either, nor are we allowed a point-of-view character to ease the readers into it all. The exposition that’s so necessary for a beginning issue is given by dialogue between Steve Rogers and Rogue, two characters who should know all of it already?

More about Deadpool, whose justification is that not only is he “better” now— you know, morally— but that he can finance the team because of his lucrative business born of his popularity. I have no problem with Deadpool being popular with fans of comicbooks, but to have him so wholly embraced by the public at large within the comicbook just doesn’t seem right. Even if Deadpool were popular, I would hope it would be in the same sense that Donald Trump is popular… a loud and vocal fringe minority that all good and decent people tolerate, at best, as a joke. Maybe I’m just too optimistic and have too much faith in humanity, even ficitional ones.

And thus, I appreciate the whole exchange with Spider-Man, who leaves the team rather than work with someone like Deadpool. And why I think Steve Rogers seems entirely out of character and in the wrong voice to defend him, at least in such a public way/extent. Which is a shame, since I think Rogue seems way more competant and strong (in terms of character) than before. I would love to see this Rogue continue to grow in this surprisingly new way, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to stick around that long.

Whew! All of this and I haven’t even been able to comment on the art! While I appreciate the energy and boldness of the art, it’s just way too distorted to handle the tone and flavor of this series. In a Deadpool-only book, or heck, even in a Spider-Man solo, this might be fine. The exaggeration and kinetic frenzy would fit well. In a comicbook that’s already off balance, however, it only adds to the tension, making it off-putting.          

As much as I loved the opportunity afforded by the premise of an Uncanny Avengers in ideal, this comic falls far short of that. It doesn’t feel either Uncanny nor Avengery, from the choice of characters, their voice and interaction, and even in the artistic aesthetic. For an introductory issue, there’s a pretty basic set-up here, but even still it misses opportunities to present new characters and the status quo in an engaging way to really draw me in as a reader.

Uncanny Avengers #1: 
Writer: Gerry Duggan; Artist: Ryan Stegman; Color Artist: Richard Isanove; Letterer: VC’s Clayton Cowles 

This review was originally published for weeklycomicbookreview.com 

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Marvel Flipside

Welcome to the FlipSide!

In what could only be described as a grand experiment, a personal hobby of drawing and writing became an nearly three-year weekly project. From 2006 – 2009, I drew and PhotoShopped a “faux-cover” and wrote a “ficlet” featuring characters from Marvel Comics that were inversions of the hero/villain dichotomy.

In other words, I took all of Marvel’s villains and made them heroes, and all of Marvel’s heroes and made them villains. One issue at a time, starting with Marvel’s first, the Fantastic Four #1–  er, 4-Victory, #1, I mean.

I haven’t really done anything with them since then, but as I write this, Marvel is currently publishing an event that ties together nearly all the books in their publishing line-up, in which– yes, you guessed it– the heroes and villains are “inverted.” It’s called “Axis.” DC has done it, too, of course, most recently with their “Forever Evil” event, featuring Earth-3 and the Crime Syndicate, which are “flipped” versions of the Justice League. (That did have its roots in comics from previous decades, to be fair.)

What better opportunity to dust off all my old stuff, re-package them in a new blog layout for anyone to enjoy (or re-enjoy)?

So… here you go. Enjoy.


The four “families” of titles include:

4-Victory

Ani4Victory

The World’s Greatest Science Heroes, banding together to fight for justice, for life, for VICTORY!

Witness the rise of Mr. Victorious, the love between Fantasti-Girl and the Mole Man, and, of course, the wondrous wingless Wizard! Jump in here to explore the cornerstone of the FlipSide universe.

Green Goblin & the Gremlin

AniGreenGobGrem

How far would you go to protect your city and your only son? Norman Osborn has taken on the urban legend of the Green Goblin as a force for good, but his driven passion may threaten to turn his son into a version of himself. Can Harry grown into his own man while also keeping the city safe from the likes of the Kingpin of Crime and Spider-Man?

AvengersAniAvengers

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are quite the celebrities! From Ricky Jones’ Emerald Heights penthouse or the Avengers Lodge, no crisis is too large, no cast is too large, for our celebrity heroes to save the day! Mythology, science, and time-crossed heroes collide to provide high-octane and high-stakes action!

The Brotherhood

AniBrotherhood

There’s a secret sub-group of humanity whose only means of survival is to keep hidden among the throngs of everyday people. The Brotherhood tells the story of a secret society of mutants determined to unite the disparate underground and to keep the world safe from the evil Mutant X and his X-Men!


FULL MENU OF PREVIOUS FANFICTION:

4-Victory     ~     Green Goblin & the Gremlin     ~     Avengers
     The Brotherhood     ~     FlipSide Marvel Presents
FlipSide: The End     ~     FlipSide Handbook

Hayden Goobie, Age 8, Explains the Death of Wolverine

Meet Hayden Goobie

Hayden, I hate to break it to you. You know Wolverine? He’s dead now. Marvel just finished it’s series The Death of Wolverine.

Really? I mean really for reals?

Yeah, I think so. He won’t be in any comics or movies for a few years. Well, months, at least.

death-of-wolverine-1-canada-variant-102308

What?! But Wolverine is like an awesome hero! He’s on like at least fifty teams or something. X-Men, the other X-Men, Avengers, the other Avengers, the Jean Grey School or Academy, and like, his own comicbooks and stuff!

I guess he got too popular or something.

Of course he’s popular! Duh! He’s like a mutant hero fighter type with martial arts skills and ninja skills and super fighting ability. He has these claws that are sort of like three long metal knives that pop out of the back of his hands or maybe his knuckles and they’re super strong and can cut through anything even other metal or rock or stuff. And he has a healing factor that heals him from anything even cuts and scrapes or cut off arms but actually you can’t really cut off his arms I guess because his bones are unbreakable metal just like his claws are unbreakable. And basically he’s got like wild animal powers and can smell and track people or have berserker rages. Or at least he used to. I think he got over that a while ago.

Because when he first showed up he was like this secret agent for Canada because Canada has this whole bunch of departments that are for like secret spy stuff or secret sciencey stuff. And he fought the Hulk. But later Professor X needed his help, Wolverine’s I mean, so he could go and rescue the X-Men and join them which he did. Professor X even helped Wolverine learn to control himself but he could never learn to control his memories because they were lost thanks to Canada’s secret science lab.

Because Wolverine is actually really old, like a hundred years or something, and his healing factor helps him stay young. But not young-young, just not hundred-billion or whatever. I think he fought in the World War Twos as a spy or something. He met like a lot of people even like Captain America and Black Widow and Captain Marvel and Sabretooth and fell in love with like Silver Fox I think but maybe I lost my memory of all of that two. Maybe it wasn’t just Canada-science that messed up his memories but like he’s had so many adventures that he can’t remember them all.

There was this one time when he even called himself Patch because he had an eyepatch. It was when he was in the Asian country of Madripoor and was a mercenary or something and so kick-butt that the whole nation which was like a nation of criminals would follow him. That’s why later the villain Viper forced Wolverine to marry her so she could take over the country somehow. But that doesn’t really matter because later the spirit of his old master and now his enemy tried to possess her and he made her divorce him before he freed her from her spirit.

I guess there was another time he was married because he had a kid called Daken but he didn’t know he had a kid so the kid grew up hating Wolverine and became one of his enemies. Well it was also because Wolverine’s other enemy Romulus tried to get Daken to hate Wolverine because Romulus was like this leader of wolf-people but not werewolf-people and thought that Wolverine would be like the next Romulus or whatever. That guy even said that he made pretty much all the stuff that happened to Wolverine in his life happen, even though a wolverine isn’t a wolf at all and is its own species.

Well, if I lived for hundred years, I’d likely wouldn’t keep track of my family members, too.

And he has like so many sidekicks too for some reason! I think the first one was like Shadowcat or Kitty Pryde I guess she was called because it was her real name. He helped teach her ninja skills for some reason. Then there was Jubilee who rescued him from some Australian bad guys that one time. It was the same time he helped Psylocke who was trapped in the body of a ninja. Then there was Armor whose power was growing a shell of armor around herself and helped train her. She was Japanese but not a ninja. He also helped like Rogue but that was in the movies so I’m not sure if it really counts or not.

And then there’s X-23 who is like Wolverine’s clone but she’s actually a girl and has only two claws plus claws on her feet. She was also an experiment by some sciencey guys but not the Canada ones I think but which happens a lot to Wolveriney characters, and she had a lot of berserker rage too.

Is there anyone in the Marvel universe he hasn’t influenced?

I dunno. He’s pretty much teamed up or been involved with everything. There was the Alpha Flight group that was part of the Canadian thing I keep talking about and the X-Men and a whole Japanese yakuza clan and the Madripoor thing and a bunch of World War II mercenaries and heroes and even Cable. Also one time he was taken by the bad guy Apocalypse and turned into one of his Horsemen-henchman (Horsehenches?) and became Death but he got better. That was right after he was revealed to have been replaced by an alien Skrull shapeshifter for a whole long time too.

Now and days he’s got like a whole school of mutants that he helps like a kind-of-sort-of sidekick whose name is Quentin Quire and he does telepathy and has pink hair. It’s the Jean Grey school because he always loved Jean Grey who was in the X-Men even though the love of his life was Mariko from the Clan Yashida but that was before he was forced to kill her before she would have died from poison anyway.

Okay, wait. This is really starting to get complicated.

I know, right? That’s why maybe it’s okay to kill him off I guess. Although of course he was already killed off once before and he even went to Hell for a bunch of times and had to fight his way out and come back to Earth.

So you are saying he’ll be back?

Yeah, prob’ly. Like I said he’s really a cool character. He could come back like a totally kick-butt ninja that can switch into wolverine-mode with hyper-speed with his slashy claws. Maybe he’d be cooler though if he was a bit taller, maybe, and maybe a bit younger too. He could be more flashy cool and spin with one of those Japanese moves from the anime then suddenly go Snikt Snikt with the claws sound. He would probably need an animal sidekick, too, like a talking wolverine or a beaver or other Canada animal who could be really sarcastic when they leap into adventure but not a moose because that would be stupid.

And that’s all I have to say about the Death of Wolverine.

The Hellcatmobile

Batman, you got nothin’ on this slick ride…

from Defenders #63 (Marvel Comics, 1978) by David Kraft and Sal Buscema

from Defenders #63 (Marvel Comics, 1978) by David Kraft and Sal Buscema

Then it’ll be back to the Hellcatcave for Hellcatcookies and milk!

To recap:

Hellcat wants everyone to “boogie on into the Big Apple, lickety split!”

Havok holds on for dear “life.”

Black Goliath gets on board while still 15′ tall.

And there’s no room for Cap’n Ultra, who’s probably calling out “hey, guys? Come on, wait up! Guys?!”

By the way, they’re off to fight Batroc the Leaper, Sagittarius, the Blob, Plantman, the Beetle, Porcupine, Electro, Meteor Man, and Whirlwind from making off with big bags of gems from the Diamond District. It all started with the Defenders making a TV documentary and spurring the heroes of Hellcat’s carpool to come together, but also hordes of villains to swarm the streets.

See what reality TV does for you?